7 Practical Ways to Actually Grow More Grit In Your Life
There are lots of articles (such as this, this, and this) over the last couple of years about grit and how having it is the key to success.
And, there are some articles where the headlines make it seem like the author is actually going to tell you how to develop more grit (therefore more success) for yourself.
But, the problem with these articles is that they are reintroducing similar ideas that others have already written about. Then, they are applying some vague phrases such as “Hope”, “Pursue Your Interests”, or “Practice, Practice, Practice.”
All without telling you exactly what you should be hopeful for or what you should be practicing so much.
I appreciate the fact that they are researching and writing about this topic. And, surely, that alone takes some work that is worth applauding.
But, I feel like they fall short of their promise and aren’t very helpful for people who actually want to learn how they could grow their grit.
So, here are 7 practical ways that you could actually grow more grit in your life:
- Play Sports or Train
Sports and training are all about grit. Football minicamp begins months before the season does. I remember my first experience with “Two-a-days” back in high school.
A “Two-a-day” for me involved getting up at 5 AM to take public transportation for close to an hour and then walking two miles just to get to the practice field by 7 AM. Then, I had to go through exercises and drills in 90-degree heat for four hours. Then, I went home before another hour long bus ride around 4 PM for another three hour round of drills and exercise.
This is how we trained to get ready for the season. Hundreds of practice hours for only 60 minutes of playtime on Fridays.
99.9% of us don’t train for football and definitely don’t have to go through two-a-days as an adult. But, something that could come at least sort of, kind of close is getting a personal trainer or joining a fitness class.
Training and fitness have many benefits. The one that maybe doesn’t get talked about much is how hard it is.
Anyone who has ever taken a class or been in the middle of a PT session from hell knows that your body wants you to quit. You want to walk out, throw up, and then drown your sorrows in a heaping bowl of hot butter.
But, you don’t.
You work through it.
And, once it’s over, you feel amazing for not quitting.
That’s grit.
Do something that makes your body scream at you to stop. But, don’t stop.
Finish it.
Dance lessons, karate class, wall sits for 60 seconds–there are so many options and your body will hate each and every one of them while you’ll feel amazing once you’ve accomplished them.
2. Read a Book That Goes Against Everything You Believe In
Most of us avoid online articles or social posts that go against what we believe in.
How many people do you know (or how many times have you yourself) quit Facebook or stopped following their weird aunt because they were tired of all the negativity?
I’m not saying you need to keep negative things in your life and if it really bothers you, you should.
But, maybe something to consider is forcing yourself to read a book or listen to a pundit that goes against your beliefs.
Really force yourself to think in a way that doesn’t align with what you believe.
Questioning yourself and what you believe is healthy. No one is asking you to change your mind. Instead, just sit and listen. Learn other sides of arguments.
If you practice alone, imagine how much grit (and improved counter-arguments) you‘ll have at Thanksgiving or your next social media spat.
3. Force Yourself to Have Tough Conversations
The older I get (I’m only 36, so let’s not think I’m writing a “back in my day” story), the more I appreciate my past-self forcing me to have tough conversations.
So many people aren’t willing to put themselves through that level of discomfort. No matter how much time and energy it could save them in the long run.
I’ve known people hold grudges for so long that they forget what even started it.
It’s tiresome.
Whether it’s with your boss, your partner, a relative that pisses you off–force yourself to have those hard conversations.
Yes, they are always going to be hard.
The easy thing to do is to let it fester and rot inside your heart. And then, when something unfortunate happens (like death or illness), you’re heart bursts open and you wish you’d spoken to them sooner.
For tough conversations, I use a trick.
I tell myself to blurt out the first sentence.
I promise you, once you do that, the other person is going to respond.
And, the next thing you know, you’ve had an entire conversation that you couldn’t have dreamed of having a few minutes earlier.
It may not smooth things over and maybe it does make things worse.
But, at least you’ve eliminated future regret and you can move forward.
Even if it has to start over email, get the conversation started.
And then power through it. It’ll always be hard, but each time it will get a little easier for the next one.
Hard conversations definitely improve grit.
4. Find Easy Ways To Negotiate More Often
About 10 years ago, I made a promise to myself. Every time I had a chance to make more money at my job, I was going to take it. Which meant I needed to learn how to be comfortable negotiating.
I read articles and books, which provided some framework to build on. But, then I had to put it into practice. Which, of course, is the hardest part.
Negotiating makes people very uncomfortable. Which is why, if you become good at it, you have a significant edge throughout your life.
I started small.
I went to the farmer’s market.
I would walk up and down the aisles with the hustle and bustle and everyone yelling and throwing 19 cent pears in your face.
I’d pick a stand and, if the cost of a pound of bananas was 59 cents, I’d offer 50.
Some said no. Some, with a little hesitation, said okay.
I did this throughout the entire market and practiced on a wide range of people and goods.
None of them were very expensive, and that’s the point. There wasn’t much pressure to succeed.
I don’t know these people, and in fact, I probably won’t ever see them again. And if I didn’t get the apples at the price I wanted, I went to the stall across the hall.
The goal wasn’t to end up with the cheapest produce, my goal was to get real-life practice with negotiating.
After a few times doing this, I moved onto other places where I could negotiate. Resale shops, antique and thrift stores and, eventually, a car dealership.
Something important that I was able to learn was that it’s not always about money. Sometimes, the person you’re talking to truly can’t budge on the price (or raise in salary). In those cases, I found something else to negotiate.
I was buying a used car and the salesman wouldn’t budge on price. So, instead I said, “throw on some new tires.”
He paused for a second and said, “sure.”
Boom. Something extra that I wouldn’t have received if I hadn’t asked.
Since then I’ve been obsessed with negotiating every chance I get. It’s actually become fun.
It took some time and, even now, isn’t easy. But, it’s an awesome skill to have and if I get rejected, I don’t take it personally anymore.
Grit can be gained by getting rejected over and over again, but still having the nerve to ask the next time.
Next time you get a chance, ask for something extra. Anything at all. Then, keep upping your game and improving your skills.
5. Do Something You Hate–Repeatedly
I don’t know about you, but when I’m in an uncomfortable position, whether it’s at a store or party or work situation, I can’t wait to get out of it.
We have built our lives around being comfortable.
But, grit doesn’t come from quitting uncomfortable situations.
It comes from staying in those moments.
So, from time to time, I stay.
I take a deep breath and remind myself why it’s important to keep doing this thing that my mind is screaming for me to get out of.
And, each time I do, the next time gets a little bit easier.
Never easy–just easier.
Find something you hate to do (as long as it doesn’t actually put you in harm’s way).
And start small again. Do you hate doing dishes? Folding laundry? Budgeting?
Force yourself to do one of those things and see it through to the end.
Much like a personal trainer or fitness class will train your body to get better and better, sitting inside something you hate will train your mind to get better and better.
There is power in being able to finish something you hate to do.
Most people can’t.
Most people don’t have life-changing grit.
6. Go A Month Without Spending
Want to talk about hard? Don’t buy anyting on Amazon, don’t buy lunch at work, don’t go out for drinks or dinner on the weekend. Spend the minimum on things you have to.
Try it for a week, then two weeks, then a month.
It’s harder than it should be for most people (self-included).
But, not spending might help you grow grit.
7. Choose the Harder Way to Do Something
Raise your hand if you’ve ever used a paper map instead of an app to get somewhere.
How about writing a letter to a friend (and snail-mailing it) instead of sending a text or DM?
Or using a pen and paper to write instead of a keyboard?
These are simple alternatives to things we do daily, yet most people are never going to do them this way.
Why?
Because it’s the harder way. Technology makes our lives easier, by removing our impatience. We are able to do things and receive things instantly now.
We never get to a point of truly becoming impatient.
Put yourself in a position where you HAVE to be patient.
Developing Patience = Developing Grit.
Conclusion
Grit is a fun topic to talk about and I like that so many others are creating content around it.
Having true grit is simply about being okay with being uncomfortable.
Developing grit is hard because the path to grit is so often about doing things the hard way.
But, if the above articles are correct, developing grit might help you become more successful than you ever thought you could be.
And by developing it in simple ways today, it should be there for the moments when you truly need it.
I’d love to hear from you:
What are some practical ways you’ve developed grit in your life?
Please leave a comment and let me know.
